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Violet Afterlife

by Cosmic Cairns

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1.
I used to be better with words But now I just feel absurd When I try to explain my mind I'm stuck here on the ground Without much of worth to be found I want to glide away Is it so strange to feel so out of touch with everything? I look straight up and try to flap imaginary wings I'm still at a loss for words But I think I'm jealous of birds And how they soar through clouds Human matters don't mean a thing When you've always got a new song to sing And you can float on air Is it so strange to feel so out of touch with everyone? I look straight up and set my sights on heading towards the sun
2.
Golden Goddess won't you wash me in the light spilling from your eyes Golden Goddess with your hands radiating warmth like the sunrise Golden Goddess won't you bless the morning bless the days to come Golden Goddess as the land vibrates around you with a hum Feel it in my spine Sun shining all the time It's in my bones and in my head And in my toes the words you said Swirl in my ears and through my mouth Up in the north down through the south And west to east and east to west Golden Goddess I can feel your presence everywhere I go Golden Goddess all the stars and planets line up in a row Golden Goddess I've forgotten all about the way things were Golden Goddess I am ready for the new world that's for sure Wash the old away With all your warm sun rays Your magic flows all around It's in the souls of every town And in the hearts and in the minds Of everyone now for all time In all places in all spaces
3.
Fly Flutter Fall
4.
Quiver 03:45
I thought you should know that I'm all right But I gotta get on the next flight Somewhere they've never heard of Dampening out the inner light A silver arrow's in my sight I filled the quiver up last night And now I'm not the one who Quivers under the stars so bright Got lost in thought there for a time While overhead the full moon shines And lights up clouds that stretch out From here to the horizon line I'll turn my eyes from side to side Take in the sky so deep and wide A vast expansive ocean I get dragged away by its tide
5.
I guess that there's ghosts in the attic It must be the ghosts that are banging around It seems that there's ghosts in the attic Must be the ghosts that keep making that sound And I sure wouldn't go up there When ghosts are lurking everywhere They haunt the spaces in the walls But I'm not sure you care at all At all There must be ghosts in the water I think it's the ghosts that make it so cold I'm sure that there's ghosts in the water Must be the ghosts, I know it's getting old And it's strange but it seems to me We're flanked by things that we can't see And we've repelled the mosquitoes So I guess that it must be ghosts Be ghosts I think that there's ghosts in between us Must be the ghosts that push us apart Yes there are ghosts in between us Must be the ghosts that keep breaking our hearts And this could be the worst of it If we can't just get over this And we're the ones that hurt the most But I say blame it all on ghosts On ghosts
6.
Xeriscape 04:06
(instrumental)
7.
Roadblock 03:07
So I came upon a roadblock I don't know the way around The way it goes The way it flows The way it goes The way it flows I think I've been here before But I'm not really sure I think I'm over this I still exist I'm over this I still exist Roadblocks pop up in my way But I don't care it's all okay I'm good for now I don't know how I'm good for now I don't know how Thoughts form in my head And then just disappear without a trace They're gone for good I knew they would They're gone for good I knew they would
8.
I'm so tired of trying to make sense out of a senseless world There's no laws and there's no purpose Except for what we make ourselves And is it ever a mess And how long do you think it'll be until we sink Into the chasms, into the holes, and into the depths we have made? I've been staring straight into the heart of an eternal pit There's no sides and there's no bottom Should we fling ourselves in it? Falling forever it seems And how long til the end of all time and all things? Falling forever, all of us together, falling right into the void I don't think I'll ever get just why things are the way they are Don't know why there's pain and evil Don't know why there's moons and stars Falling forever in dreams And how far does this go? Does it end? I don't know. Falling forever through stormy weather, falling forever again
9.
Zenith 06:14
All of the atoms in every star Still wouldn't fill up the void left in our hearts By all the things that get lost to time Everything eventually gets left behind But it was all worth it just to have known you Just for the instant that we both passed through It might all be random but I'm glad you were here I felt less lost just by having you be near All of our memories might leave with us Everything eventually gets turned to dust Even the whole universe will go As if it never existed at all None of it in time will even be missed How could it be when nobody exists? Still I'll remember as long as I can If this is all there is I'm still glad it happened
10.
It looks like good conditions now to take flight My calico copilot's just to my right Clear skies overhead with tail winds pushing us Projections are positive for smooth travels and a productive day And now we're in the air and chugging along The navigation robot's playing a song Mountains underneath us hiding a deep blue lake Oceans on the horizon, canyons straight ahead let's go! Now we're on cruise control the ground rushes by below And on it goes and on it goes We'll travel great distances and see many wondrous sights And we'll keep going we'll keep going Going going going going The calico copilot's taking the reigns We're turning round and heading back home again Stars are coming out and shining down on us Full moon's rising up and glowing vibrantly tonight
11.
There was a time not so long ago When you could just pick up and go Pretty much anywhere you'd want to go But that was in a different age Before the year of the plague Uncertainty was exciting not something to fear And I traveled over the ocean Just to see what all lay over there I wandered across many borders Yes I used to sail through the air Year of the plague's got me twisted and flailing Tired of the lies and I'm tired of the failing And after all these years I still don't know the reason why we're here But I... I... I... Just can't believe we were put here To hate each other or feel fear So please don't despair
12.
I see the white doves flying over the hills and into the clouds Then they turn into light forms sparkling bright and wavering around They flex and bend and then ascend into their various heavens I'm in a canyon now with hundred foot walls all made out of mirrors And then the sky will fall and merge with the ground into a new shape Bells will ring and angels sing while other entities take form Eleven Heavens floating by...

about

In 2020 I participated in my 4th Weekly Beats, which is a sort of project/challenge in which you write and record a new song every week for a year. I managed to complete every week. There's no particular prize for doing so other than a sense of accomplishment I suppose. You also end up with a lot of songs by the end of the year. 52 to be exact. I picked out 12 songs that I thought kind of went well together and assembled them into this album. I spent the early part of 2021 trying to teach myself some more about production and then spent a good amount of time remixing all 12 of these songs. It was challenging, but also cool to see some improvements happening.

2020 was a pretty crazy year and I couldn't help but reflect some of the angst and weird feelings that went along with it in some of these songs. But I also tried to include some sense of light and hope because in spite of everything I did feel that as well. I've included lyrics and a short commentary on every song here.

credits

released April 16, 2021

All songs written, performed, and recorded by Ethan Slaughter at home during 2020.

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Cosmic Cairns Nevada

Cosmic Cairns is a one man band/recording project featuring Ethan Slaughter on numerous instruments. I've been making home recordings since 1995 and am in a constant process of learning, growing, and exploring. And hopefully recording a few halfway decent songs along the way. ... more

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